The beginning of my day seemed normal enough. While saying my prayers, I prayed for God to enlarge my territory for his will (for my superhero powers). Little did I know that I should have prayed for a little more on the "mom of three kids by day" side.
Normally, I try to keep these posts short, but this one may be a little lengthy so bare with me - it's not the superhero powers events, but the "I've had 3 kids" by day person in me.
We will begin with the superhero. I was excited to see what powers I would use today, but I had a doctor's appoint to check my bladder (not very superheroe). My day proceeds as normal and I head to my doctor's appoint - but first, I do go into work to cover my morning duties so that no other unfortunate soul would have to endure a gym full of middleschoolers at 7:00 in the morning. As I'm driving to my appointment, I run up on an apparent wreck that had just happened. I am new at this superhero stuff, so my first instinct was - I'm going to be late to my doctor's appointment. How am I going to get around this? But I caught myself - thank goodness. I didn't feel that I should stop, but it was the superhero thing to think about. I assessed the situation and saw that one car had already stopped and then proceeded. After passing by the 2 automobiles, I saw that everyone appeared to be okay. My instincts said it was okay to go. Believe me, if I had felt otherwise or saw that there was danger, I would have stopped. I did question myself for a couple of miles after that, but then reminded myself of a few times (before my superhero job) where I had acted with superhero powers and pulled over on an interstate to assist in a wreck and had called 911 while following a man who was running off the road for several miles. I felt good with my decision, but was I going to use my superhero powers today.
I'm almost to the doctor's office when traffic stops. A nice person in front of me lets a car pull in front of him at an intersection - that was nice, but come on - I might be late. Then before I can pull off, another car pulls up to pull out in the intersection. My thoughts, "Sorry lady. I'm going to be late." But wait, that's not very superhero like, so I let her out. WONDERFUL! I have once again used my superhero powers. I'm off to the doctor... We will continue that part in a minute.
One more superhero story. After the appointment and I'm back at school eating lunch, a student comes to the teacher's desk to ask if we want a cookie. It is quite clear that several 5th grade boys hands have been in that bag of cookies. A few of the teachers say "no thank you." But, I, seeing this as a great superhero moment, say, "Yes my wonderful student. I will take a cookie." He smiled. Of course, I was not going to eat that cookie for you see the cleanest thing in our whole school is the sink in the boys bathroom because they never wash their hands.
Okay. Now, I have to tell you the story of what happened at the doctor's office because to truly understand any superhero, you have to understand their "by day" life. My doctor's appointment was to check my bladder - let's just say that after having 3 kids, things are NOT where they are supposed to be. Not thinking, I drink a pretty big cup of coffee on the way there. When the nurse asks for me to come on back and we are in the room, I say that I really have to pee. She proceeds to point to some type of apparatus that looks like it used to belong to my grandmother that has a cup underneath it. She then explains that I will need to use it and then get undressed from the waist down and sit on the table (which by the way has a doggie pad on it). I look at the cup and I can already see the problem - that cup ain't big enough. But I say okay and follow her instructions. I'm sitting on the apparatus using the "cup" and monitoring the amount that goes in. Yep, I was right - that cup ain't big enough. "Well," I think, "I can just cut it off here." I get up to wipe and realize why I'm at the bladder doctor - I can't cut it off that quick anymore. So with my pants down to my knees I scoot over to the sink to grab more papertowels but I suddenly realize there's water on the floor, my panties, and my pants. WAIT, that ain't water. I've just peed from the apparatus to the sink and am pretty sure that I'm still peeing. This ain't good. I scoot, with my pants down to my knees, back to the apparatus. "Please don't overflow, please don't overflow." GREAT - it didn't overflow. But now, I have pee on me, the seat of the apparatus, and the floor. "What do I do? What do I do?" I take off my pants and panties and place then strategically on the chair. I still have on my flip-flops, and I wrap one of the paper blankets around my waist which by the way does not go all the way around. I then get more and more paper towels to clean up the pee off myself, the floor, and the apparatus. "Please don't let her come back in. Please don't let her come back in." After 2 trips to get paper towels, it's all clean. I put on my socks (I always carry socks to any doctor where I might have to get naked from the waist down. I don't want to walk around on the floor barefoot - what if someone peed on it.). I then hop on the table and cover up. DONE. "Oh, shit. I forgot to wash my hands." Here we go again - I hop off the table, scoot to the sink - wash one hand at a time so I can keep the paper blanket around me. "Please don't let her come in. Please don't let her come in." DONE! I hop back on the table. She comes in.
You see - you really needed to know that part of the whole story of the day.
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